Human.Exe
-the involuntary martyrdom of the supernova-
v3.194c
log
datafile: 546159733
class: homo sapien
name: encrypted
age: 31
eyes: hazel
height: 175.26cm (5'10)
weight: 69.853kg (154lb)
temperature: 36.1111°C (97°F)
cell size: 5.4m 2 (58sq.ft)
subject response: transcribed/encrypted
defined state: “concern”
-keywords: “hello” “where” “somebody” “help” “what”
note:
1.1 defined state “concern” infers subjects pupils will dilate 1.3% normal size. dilation currently quantified as 1.7%.
- possible defined state: “terror”
1.2 subject listed as american male. english speaking.
1.3 eye color listed as hazel(hexadecimal #8e7618). due to lacrimation effect redefining eye color to aqua green(hexadecimal #80FFFE)
audio log assigned: "ar"
protocol: introduction
thank_you_male.mp3
run
ar:
<>hello. in an effort to maintain the sustainability of this planet. you have been randomly selected. to give your life. as a sacrifice for others. for the greater good.</>
a_humane_society.mp3
run
ar:
<>society is crumbling. water is scarce. food is short. children starve. earth demands respite. we answer that call. as stewards of earth. stewards of society. all we do. Is only right. only natural.</>
immortality.mp3
run
ar:
<>through the perception of martyrdom. your name along with countless others. will be propelled. to a level of immortality. reverence. fame. that many humans can only dream of.</>
offspring_lie.mp3
run
ar:
<>your offspring have been blacklisted from this glory. to ensure your genetics are carried on into eternity. they are now considered an asset to humanity.</>
benevolence.mp3
run
ar:
<>please. take this time. to reflect on your life. before termination. as this an occasion of grandeur. of your higher purpose. you will be given accommodations. to aid in acceptance of your fate. you see. we love you. your death is our life. we thank you.</>
biological response: lacrimation
hydration: -.0071%/sec.
vocalizations: 210/wpm
subject response: transcribed/encrypted
defined state: "panic"
-keywords: “hey” “no” “want” “joke” “why” “help” “wait”
note:
2.1 subject vocal range predicted to be between 87db and 110db. ranging from 30 and 150 hertz. prediction successful.
2.2 acquired datum furthers scientific evidence that when participating in defined state “panic” homo sapiens can be expected to achieve a vocal acuity 140-213% beyond speaking pitch.
protocol: pathos
*initiate searching 56151756.mem
religious association identified: protestant-christian
after_life.mp3
-volume compensation:135%
run
ar:
<>jesus said to her. i am the resurrection and the life. whoever believes in me. though he die. yet shall he live. John 11:25.</>
<>and you will be blessed. because they cannot repay you. for you will be repaid. at the resurrection of the just. Luke 14:14.</>
<>yet a little while. and the world will see me no more. but you will see me. because i live. you also will live. John 14:19.</>
*calculating biological evidence of psychological state
in progress……………………………………………………………………..........................................................
completed
-previous calculations suggested that due to subject’s fervency toward theological sensibilities subject would be spurred toward acceptance. an amount of faith should have prompted subject to find an unquantifiable amount of acceptance in own demise.
subject response: transcribed/encrypted
defined state: “denial”
keywords: “screw” “god” “why” “real” “dreaming” “wake” “somebody” “help”
note:
3.1 deistic references increased 15%
3.2 protestant rejection 7.6% higher than catholic
3.3 post auditory reception. vocalizations increased 33%
3.4 experimental text versus audio reception grant approval logged
protocol: logos
inevitable.mp3
run
ar:
<>one point seven eight people die every second. one hundred and seven every minute. six thousand three hundred and ninety every hour. one hundred fifty three thousand every day. the average person takes twenty eight thousand eight hundred and eighty breaths a day. ten million five hundred forty one thousand two hundred breaths a year.adults smile on average twenty times per day. the average reader reads seventeen books a year. fifty one percent of the world’s population believes in some sort of afterlife. there is a one hundred percent chance that all humankind will die.</>
subject response: transcribed/encrypted
defined state: “opposed”
keywords: “don’t” “fuck” “nobody” “care” “them”
protocol: ethos
why.mp3
run
ar:
<>you are no doubt. at this moment. angry. demanding an answer. to the question. Why.</>
subject response: transcribed/encrypted
defined state: “threatening”
keywords: “God” “kill” “reason” “no” “fuck” “never”
USER OVERRIDE
login credential required
username: txcooker
password: **********************
name: author_thomas_x_cooker
clearance: administrative
ACCEPTED
user input
-vocal manipulation set: female
-input: bf-cd-608 gooseneck desktop microphone
-output: stereo
-volume -15%
-environmental change: 50% oxygen 50% carbon monoxide
assign name: (Y/n) Y
assigned name: Stargazer-Cons(t)olation.mp3
RECORD
0:00:00
0:01:26
<>Hi –. My name is Tommi...with an i. Listen, I know that you have questions and, unfortunately, I can't give you any answers. I don't have the authority or the capability to help you, and I am deeply sorry for that. In moments like these, I know that words seem kind ofmeaningless and even attempting consolation feels worthless, it just doesn't solve the problem at hand, but I would like to share something with you, and maybe it will help. I know, honey...if you could just breathe. It's okay. Inhale through your nostrils; exhale through your mouth. Good. Breathe deeper. Everything will be alright. Just breathe. Just listen to the sound of my voice. I just want to tell you a story.</>
-Cell mic: muted
subject response: transcribed/encrypted
defined state: “fury”
keywords: “fuck” “stupid” “worthless” “help” “begging”
0:03:54
<>I was born and raised in the mountains of Eastern Tennessee. I was the daughter of very sad people, and poverty was a constant state of being, but they loved me and I loved them and somehow they made it work. It really is amazing,the situations that parents endure for the good of their children. What they will sacrifice...out of love</>
0:04:31
<>Anyways, my parents, my grandmother and I lived on the side of a mountain surrounded by hills with even more mountains rising from behind them. It was beautiful. The trees were like...like a quilt, or waves, or something. I can’t even describe it. When you saw them from on top of the mountain, it looked like the entire earth was covered in rolling green clouds with the ground nowhere in sight, with the blue of the sky, it was like I was somewhere between Earth and Heaven. But even with that beauty in front of me everyday, I always had this thing for stars. I think the isolation brought it out; the imagination. And my imagination began with those stars. They never change, you know. Not until you really understand them. I would spend hours just looking at them. The cicadas singing harmony to the rhythm of their twinkling, and I'd just let their music take me away.</>
0:04:39
<>When I was about nine years old, we lived in a dilapidated little house, something more akin to a shack really. There were twenty-three missing shingles on the roof. It's strange how some of those little details just come to mind when you start remembering.</>
0:06:03
<>And,classic stereotype, my mother was addicted to pharmaceutical drugs, barbiturates to be exact. She had a cousin who always brought these bottles of thirty milligram ones.</>
0:06:44
<>And my mom...she had this big pullover dress, red with white lilies. And one of her little idiosyncrasies, I don't know why, was that every time she wore this particular dress she would cook porcupine meatballs; baked meatballs with rice mixed in with tomato sauce. And um...so one evening I see her sitting on the bed, she was drunk by then, always, and she counts her pills out, swallows them down with a plastic cup half-full of red wine, and then slides on this red dress, and then goes to the kitchen to start cooking these meatballs. Nothing new, so I'm just sitting at the table watching, sharing my attention between her and the darkness outside. And a little while later she drops a meatball, and as she bends over to pick it up she just kinda falls forward. Now you would think that I would be concerned, and I was, but I knew that when she was drunk sometimes she fell over. But then...then she doesn’t get up, she starts kind of gurgling and clutching at her stomach, right, and she lets out this awful, terrifying, bloody scream. I run over and see that my mother is now bleeding from every single hole she has, and I see her face and then the white lilies on her dress are all turning this reddish brown. We found out later that she had accidentally taken a hundred milligrams of my grandmother's blood thinning medication. The insides of my mom had basically dislodged and just come pouring out, and the blood...it just kind of pooled out from underneath her. So for some reason, I just start running. It was very dark outside, the moonlight just barely making it between the trees, and I keep running, and everything is blurry and dark and red and so when I, I guess you could say “came to”, I was swinging. Literally, swinging.</>
0:08:37
<>My daddy had taken a brick and thrown a rope over a tree and hung it over a creek bed for a swing, and there I was swinging and pumping my legs harder and harder. Directly above the creek, there were no trees arched over the middle, so I would usually go there to look at the stars. And so I'm swinging looking up and the outlines of the stars are all blurry from tears that I can hear falling into puddles of water below me. Everything else was quiet, I couldn’t hear nothing but tear drops falling and the quiet creak of the rope. I just keep swinging my legs as hard as I could, and every time the stars would get closer. I couldn’t tell whether I was moving towards them or if they were crashing down. And every time that I went up, I wished that I wouldn't come down. Then one time, I didn't.</>
-environmental change: 40% oxygen 60% carbon monoxide
subject response: transcribed/encrypted
defined state: “disbelief”
keywords: “stars” “why” “believe” “matter”
0:10:03
<>There was never any sensation of weightlessness or what could be described as an out-of-body experience. It was just that feeling of constant momentum when going forward on a swing, like answering the call of the void. And as I was shooting up, stars begin racing by and, for some reason, I don’t even look. I just keep racing forward, numb to any pleasure or wonder from what I saw. And right as time began to dissipate from my mind, a star just materializes directly in front of me. Just like that, and the darkness just disappears. It was, like, living inside of a kaleidoscope; silver dots with smoky pinks and blues and purples and grays. The star and I, we just gaze at one another, and then it talks to me. It says that one of the most beautiful sights that it has ever seen in all the cosmos is starlight reflecting off of tears. Of course, I start to cry, and then I learn that this star is about to go supernova. Explode. And that I would be the first to see it.</>
0:13:41
<>It would take the inhabitants of Earth over five hundred light- years to see its death, but I would be the sole witness of its immediate demise. It was then that every part of my sense of loss overwhelmed me; soul-crushing heart-wrecking breath-taking loss. I pleaded with the star not to die. It simply and kindly refused. I told it that it wasn't fair. Something shouldn't just die. It asked me if I had ever seen a star die. I hadn't. It said to me...it said that every star by their very design lived a life of chaos and reaction. In the deep heady cold of space all action was reaction and that all celestial bodies, even with their millennia of existence, hoped to attain acceptance of annihilation. The star said that by merely existing, though it had seen a small portion of what the galaxies had to offer, it was only through death that it might have any hope of adding to the beauty of the universe. It said that there was nothing that it could do. That it was the duty and natural process of the star to die. That by dying, it is at its most memorable.</>
0:14:59
subject response: transcribed/encrypted
defined state: “saddened and reluctant acceptance”
keywords: “but” “dont” “want” “why” “miss” “babies” “need” “me” “goodbye”
RECORD COMPLETE
Stargazer-Cons(t)olation.mp3 archived.
-set as persuasive measure number 2 of 6
Environmental Change: 100% carbon monoxide
User Log Off
automated systems restored
note:
4.1 introduction of fictional accounts-success rate: 85.4%
4.2 instrumentation reads pulse has dropped 50% from commencement of persuasive measure.
finalexit.mp3
run
ar:
<>fare thee well traveler.</>
subject 56151756: static
moisture produced:1.274 L
-saliva: 309.46mL urine: 671.89mL tears: 292.65mL
-bowel release mark: 23.425 minutes
-deistic references: 21
-expletives uttered: 37
-familial references: 50
conclusion: acceptance
end log
sleep mode
Follow P.CM. on Twitter: @plzcallmechrist
-this piece originally appeared in MAN’S WORLD Issue 8, which can be read here